We were so busy packing / moving past few weeks, so I wasn't thinking too much about this. As we settled in the new place last weekend, my anxiety came back......IS MY BABY STILL ALIVE AND HAVING A HEART BEAT!???!?? I bought a fetal doppler a couple of weeks ago to give me some peace of mind, but I have not been able to hear a HB :( In hindisight, the sound I thought I heard was definitely mine because it was less than 100. I know it might be still early to hear a HB, but I was quite dissapointed. I never had a dream about a baby, but I had 2 baby dreams this week. One dream was wild! I was still in the first trimester. In order to check whether or not if the baby is fine, someone cut my belly open and took the tiny baby out. I am looking at the LO and thinking "Phew, she/he is healthy and alive". It's kinda gross!! Since I went through an infertility, I learned that my fear / anxiety show up in some way or crazy way in my dream. I told my DH that I am nervous about today. He said "Me too".
The clinic was very nice and clean. I filled out several basic new patient forms and met a nurse. She was very down to earth and asked several questions about my history. When I told her about IVF, she said she had to go through medicated cycles for her 2 girls. I felt good knowing that she understands IF. After she completed her paper, she gave me a bag of stuff including info about optional testings such as NT scan. I signed up this test for next week. Then, a lab technitian took 3 bloodwork. Finally, I met my OB. He is very chatty and funny! I immediately felt comfortable with him although he had to conduct a PAP on me today :P He also did monitor baby's HB. He found it!!! I don't know the rate, but it was beating fast!! I felt so relieved and he told me that after ultrasound confirms your baby’s heartbeat at eight weeks, the risk of miscarriage is only about 3%. I just looked up about a risk of miscarriage and here it is: The risk falls even lower (1%) after a normal ultrasound at 16 weeks. I know that the safe zone is after 4 months in Japan as compared to 3 months in the States.
I saw a FB post today from my DH's friend. The excited couple posted a U/S picture of their 2nd expected baby and her due date is 3/17 (Mine is 3/23, so we are so close!). I will NOT make a FB announcement until at least 4 months or when we find out about a gender. Whenever people announce their pregnancies on the FB in the early stage of their pregnancy, I always think they are either brave, they have never encountered a fertility issue, or they might not know the risk of miscaridge in the early stage. I know 2 girls who did the same thing and ended up losing a baby....
How am I doing lately?
I think my m/s is better. My boobs are not as sore as before. My bloat is the same as before. Appetite for food.....GAH! This is the hard one. I am eating something often, but food doesn't make me happy anymore. I haven't cooked proper meals for weeks. I cannot seem to make myself buy meat and cook. My go-to-cookings are: Tomate sauce pasta & Veg Lo Mein. Poor husband.....It's not like the smell makes me throw up or anything like that, but I just lost my passion to cook. My lunch routine (I have been slacking lately) is to go to a gym, walk on a treadmill, and watch Paula Deen & Barefoot Contessa, but even that doesn't make me happy :(
I started feeling better about my pregnancy, so I did some shopping! I bought 3 books: Belly Laugh & the Conflict & Dude, you are gonna be dad for hubby. I also gave in to get a Snoogle! It just came, so I gotta try the big ass pillow tonight.
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| Comfy Snoogle |
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