Week 19 & 3 Days: A/S & Baby Gender!

Here come the big day!!  We were both so nervous about this day.  First of all, we were worried how the baby was doing.  Second of all, we were getting nervous about finding the baby gender.  I should've been more exicited about this day instead of being nervous, but I haven't really felt baby's movement and it's been a month since I saw the baby's u/s, so a lot of things were on my mind.  I know it's very stupid, but I was thinking "Well, I did watch a lot of scary movies and went to a haunted house recently. I jumped several times.  Is it good for my baby???  "I also found this awesome chocolate I cannot stop eating every night after dinner.  I know chocolate has caffeine.  Is it impacting the growth of my baby????"  It's crazy, but we did talk about a emergency getaway trip plan in case there was something wrong with the baby.  If there was no live baby, we were going to take off immediately and disappear from everyone and everything for a couple of days.   

I woke up this morning and it was snowing!!!  Snow in Cincinnati before Halloween is so rare and this is due to the hurricane Sandy.  I usually drink a glass of juice while getting ready to go to work.  Then, I eat breakfast once I get into my office.  I have seen bump girls posting about their A/S experience and some of them unfortunately couldn't find out the baby gender @ a/s.  They said that babies were sleeping or didn't want to cooperate, so they had to try to go up and down the stairs to wake them up.  There was a tip about having an glass of OJ before a/s.  That's exactly what I did!   

Anatomy Scan (A/S and a.k.a. Level 2 Ultrasound)
Most anatomy scans are performed in the second trimester of pregnancy between 18 weeks and 22 weeks.
Measurements are taken from this special ultrasound during pregnancy to make sure your baby is growing appropriately (and that his or her gestational age is still on target). A survey of the organs, including the umbilical cord, ensures that they are developing normally (or identifies any potential problems as soon as possible). The sonographer will also be looking at your amniotic fluid levels, the location of the placenta, and the fetal heart rate.

My DH came with me to the a/s.  I was excited because he has never seen u/s which shows baby's movement.  I had such a great NT scan experience, so I was dying to show him what I was talking about.  We saw the baby on the screen and looks like there are tons of movements, so we were so relieved!!!!  The sono tech studied the baby by taking bunch of measurements.  I know some clinics offer 3D u/s in general, but my place is still using 2D.  It was neat to see different areas of the baby like feet, arm, etc.  Then, sono tech asked us "So, what do you think you are having?"  We both said "We think a boy for sure." 

For some reason we've always talked about "this little girl" even long time before trying to have a baby.  When we found out that I was pregnant, we started discussing girl's names first.  I looked into an old wife's tales and did chinese gender chart, but the results were all mix, so I know nothing is for sure.  We did have a preference of having a girl, but it's totally up to God, so we both said "Let's just hope for a healthy baby.  Gender doesn't matter and a boy is a lot of fun, too!"  I felt we are having a girl by looking at my NT scan picture, but DH was very determined that we were having a boy.

Anyway, the sono tech finally said..."hmmmm, baby is moving too much so I cannot check the gender."  I said "Oh no!  I drunk OJ so that the baby would be awake for this."  This was unexpected and she said I shouldn't have....In the end, she told me to go ahead to meet with my Doc and come back.

The Doc said everything looks good, so nothing to be concerned.  The progress of the baby is on track, so my due date is still March 23rd.  I was very happy to hear my LO is doing just fine!  While waiting for the 2nd u/s try, we both looked at each other and talked how we are greatful to know that the baby is doing well.  But, it will be disappointing not to find out the gender....my next appointment will be around Thanksgiving so it seemed really far....

The sono tech called us back in the room.  We hoped the baby's go-go juice wore off little bit and looks like it did!  It was a moment of truth.  We had no idea where exactly she was looking at but the she said "You guys are having a girl."  I instantly started crying.  I cried because I was so happy.  I cried because knowing a gender added so much more identity to our baby and I felt the bond between her and me got so strong.  Things are feeling so real to me now and it's not just that we are having a baby.  We are having a daughter.

I am cooking a nice dinner tonight to celebrate this amazing day.  I am still excited and emotional so it's hard to contain myself.  We bought a big pumpkin and going to curve "It's a girl".  We are taking it to DH's family tomorrow night to reveal the gender.  I think they are going to enjoy a little Halloween surprise :)   

Happy Halloween!  We curved our special pumpkin!!!

Week 18 & 5 Days: Almost A/S & Recent Purchase

A/S is around the corner:
My big A/S day is next Tuesday and my anxiety has been creeping up, gah!  My belly looks more round than a couple of weeks ago (it used to be a bump in the lower belly), so I think there is a progress in terms of my belly size.

I think I am doing really good in terms of having an ultrasound next week, but I know I started feeling a bit more anxious this week because all the dreams I am having in the past couple of days!!  They are all "Being Chased" dreams and I again had one last night.  I was chased by zombies this time.  I ususally don't get caught and to my surprise, I was actually fighting with those zombies!  I don't know where zombies came from but I am thinking it's the Halloween effect!

This is what one of the dream analyzing websites said:  "Chase dreams are one of several common dream themes, stemming from feelings of anxiety in your waking life. Flee and flight is an instinctive response to a physical threat in the environment. In such dreams, the scenario often features you being pursued by an attacker, an animal, a monster or an unknown figure, who wants to hurt or possibly kill you. Consequently, you run, you hide or you try to outwit your pursuer. Your actions in the dream parallel how you would respond to pressure and cope with fears, stress or various situations in your waking life.

To make my annoying being-chased dream go away, I decided to try the fetal doppler again.  I haven't really had a success up to this point.  I did something different this time though.  I used a Vaseline Aloe Moisturizer (smells fantastic) and read a tip from the instruction guide and tried the doppler 30 minutes after my lunch.  It WORKED!  I heard strong beats.  It disappeared so I guess the baby was swiming around!  No problem, I could find the HB again :)

More books to read:    
I made 2 book purchases recently.  I like [Baby Bargains] so far because it's not all about finding bargain items, but also this book talks a lot about safety of the baby items, so it was very educational to me.  It also gave me an idea to take a look at baby items at Pottery Barn Kids Outlet and looks like there is one about one hour from my house!

I need to start thinking how we can raise a bilingual child.  I really want my kids to be able to understand and speak Japanese.  It's a big benefit for them in the future and I want my kids to speak with my family in Japanese.  Phew, having a baby isn't just about breatfeeding and changing diapers.  There are a lot of things to think about!!!     

Week 18 & 2 Days: First Prenatal Massage & First Kick (Maybe?)

I had an absolutely fantastic weekend.  We had a belated anniversary getaway and it was a surprise trip, so I had no idea where my DH was taking me to!  The destination was in western Kentucky called Barkley Lake.  The fall weather down there was mild (60-65F!) and the resort is surrounded by miles of trails.  Leaves were so colorful and we hiked hours everyday.

It was 5 hours+ away from our home, so we had plenty time to talk about our coming up future.  It was a really nice trip because we did talk a lot about us.  The theme of the 5 years wedding anniversary is "Wood", so he got me wooded themed gifts:  Bonsai, pine nut candle & wooden jewelry box :) Then.....he told me that he booked us massages!!

Prenatal Massage
Since towns nearby are relatively small, he couldn't book a couple massage, so we had to get a massage one by one.  Mine was a prenatal one and I was soooo excited about it!!!  The masseuse asked me if I was comfortable to have belly down and I said no, so I laid on the side.  She gave me a soft pillow between my legs for a comfort.  I have been sleeping on my sides with my snoogle for a while.  According to my OB, I should try sleeping on my sides after 20 weeks and avoid sleeping on my back for more than 8 hours.  I am getting used to it, but my shoulders were little stiff from sleeping on my sides, so when masseuse gave me shoulder massage, it was like a heaven!!  I usually like a massage with stronger pressure such as deep tissue massage, but moderate pressure for a prenatal massage was just perfect.  I can so get used to this!      

Google says...
Sleeping on your side is best while you're pregnant. In particular, sleeping on your left side may benefit your baby by improving blood flow – and therefore nutrients – to the placenta. It also helps your kidneys efficiently eliminate waste products and fluids from your body, which in turn reduces swelling in your ankles, feet, and hands.  When you're sleeping on your back, the weight of your uterus lies on the spine, back muscles, intestines, and major blood vessels.
     
First Kick/Tap????     
I know some girls already started feeling a baby movement as early as 16 weeks.  I have been paying attention lately and sometimes put my hands on my belly to see if I feel anything, but unfortunately, I haven't had this "flutter" everyone is taking about.  On this trip, my DH took me to a laser show at Planetarium.  The theme was Pink Floyd, "The Wall".  I have never seen a planetarium laser show so I was so excited!!!  During the show, I had both of my hands on my belly and I felt this "tap".  It was so subtle but I again felt the tap.  I am not sure if this was just my belly making some noise or what, but it put a huge smile on me.  Feeling a baby movement is such an exciting experience and it gives me a peace of mind that my LO is growing everyday :)    

Week 17 & 1 Day: Modern Family vs. Traditional Family

Although I haven't told my employer about my pregnancy yet, I have been thinking a lot about how to balance my work & family when the baby arrives.  I think traditionally, many women stayed home to raise kids.  Then, they go back to work when kids are at certain ages.  I know this is still the case for some family nowadays, but it seems like more women are returning to work right after a short maternity leave.

My mom strongly suggests that I should become a stay home mom.  Her opinion is based on her experience.  She had a demanding nursing job when she was pregnant with my brother.  She said she almost had a miscarriage from overworking.  Since my parents were still young and didn't have a lot of money, she had to go back to work right away after my brother was born, so he was put in a day care from a really early stage.  My brother turned out a big big troublemaker and my mom blames her that it was because she didn't spend enough time with him when he was little.  After long 6 years later, she finally got pregnant again (She had a severe endo)  and I was born.  She quite her job and spent as much as time possible to raise me.  According to her, I turned out ok (really, mom?  I think u don't know me well!), so she thinks that I should follow her advice.  I totally understand her thoughts, but I cannot see myself becoming a stay home mom.
I am conflicted with her suggestion because of the following reasons.....

• My job is more flexible.  I can work from home if I want to as long as I have an Internet.  Family is more priority than work in the States, so it's easier to leave early if a baby gets sick.  Maybe, I will try to negotiate with my company if I can work from home twice per week.    
• I think it's easier for some people with certain type of jobs (nurse, teacher,etc) to be able to go back to work after years of a maternity leave.  For me, I work in a high tech field and things change so fast, so I am not too confident to be able to to go back to the same position years later.  Also, I invested time & money in my school, so it's difficult to give up my career.    
• Having 2 incomes make a big difference.  If we work hard now, we can afford to go on a big family trip and maybe retire early!
• What if....I hate to think about it, but what if something happens to my DH?  I feel I need to be independent for unforeseen future events.         
• There is a day care near my office!  I can literally walk there!!!  I had a facility tour 2 weeks ago and the place was decent.  I can visit my baby anytime I want and I can go there to nurse the baby at lunch time. 

This is the beauty of the 2nd Trimester.  I feel great, so I have time to think about a lot of things to prepare ourselves for the new life.  As soon as we find out the baby gender, we will get started on nursery items and registering some birth classes :)      

Week 16 & 2 Days: Facebook Announcement

There is not turning back....  We are out to the public about our pregnancy and I feel so naked!!!

I was surprised by how nervous I was about posting this news on my FB.  My hands were somewhat shaking and I checked my post over and over before I finally clicked [Post].  People sometimes get into troubles because of FB.  I know some people get fired from work because of what they posted on FB.  People know about you instantly as soon as they read your posts.  FB can be convenient, cool, fun, yet deadly depends on how you use it.  I saw a documentary about FB that one girl made an announcement about her pregnancy.  Then, she had a still birth very late in her pregnancy.  She decided to post the news on her FB.  She was very upset how very few people commented on her post.  Because of the experience, she was so afraid to post her second pregnancy news on the FB.  I felt really bad for her, but I don't blame her friends.  I wouldn't be able to reply to a FB post like that.  It's already really difficult to say anything positive or supporting when a tragedy happens to people, and FB reply is so public and  impersonal, so it's not appropriate sometimes.

My DH texted me that he got tons of texts from his friends.  DH has a FB page, but he rarely checks it, so it made me smile to hear his friends are trying to reach him out with more personal approach.  Some of our friends in distance already have kids and we are asked "Are you guys trying?  Do you guys want kids?" whenever we see them, so I am so happy to let them know "YES, it's finally happening!"                   

I took a quick look at Week 16 pregnancy news and learned that the baby can pick up my voice!!!  I am so thrilled about it and started talking to my belly right away :)

I ordered this T-shirt for Candy and used it for the FB announcement!

            

Week 15 & 3 Days: 2nd OB Visit -> CHECK!

My anxiety was building up as the OB visit date came close.  My belly bump & boobs didn't look as big before, so that didn't help. 

To get to the point, my baby is doing well!!  The appointment was fast and simple.  They took my urine sample first and met my OB (A new one.  They have several here, so they want me to meet each of them).  My OB asked me how I am feeling.  I told her that I am nervous that I don't have a HB.  She said "I am sure you are fine, but let's first check a HB then".  She found it immediately!  I felt a relieve of waves when I heard healthy & fast HB.  The baby is fine!!  He/she is snuggling and swimming around in my belly :)  It's kinda strange and amazing to think that the tiny baby (The size of Navel Orange!) is moving around in my belly.     

While I was waiting for my appointment, I browsed magazines to read.  One magazine caught my eyes because it feature about infertility.  Instead reading fun pregnancy sections, I started reading the infertility sections.  I cannot help it.....I was touched by infertility, so I think and want to know more about it.  I know why some of my friends/family wonder why I am constantly worried, but here it is.  The magazine stated exactly what I am.   

"Women who become pregnant after infertility treatments face more complex challenges than those with a natural pregnancy.  They cannot relax; there is incredible fear and anxiety over miscarriage or birth defects.  They've usually spent years in infertility treatment, and are used to things not working out"
     
HOWEVER, I am not worried, scared or anxious 24/7!  My mood goes through a cycle.  It seems it gets worse as I get closer to an OB appointment.  I am definitely feeling more pregnant day by day.  In fact, I LOVE telling people that I am pregnant.  The word "I am pregnant" is a magic word because it makes me smile as well as everyone around me.  We went to a baby store last weekend just to browse around.  When we saw the parking sign for "Expectant Mother", we looked at each other and said "We are allowed to park here, aren't we?"  We did and felt like a million bucks!

Next big milestone is........Gender reveal in 19th week!  We are sticking to a normal ultrasound opportunity to find the baby gender.  I cannot wait!!!!