Week 17 & 1 Day: Modern Family vs. Traditional Family

Although I haven't told my employer about my pregnancy yet, I have been thinking a lot about how to balance my work & family when the baby arrives.  I think traditionally, many women stayed home to raise kids.  Then, they go back to work when kids are at certain ages.  I know this is still the case for some family nowadays, but it seems like more women are returning to work right after a short maternity leave.

My mom strongly suggests that I should become a stay home mom.  Her opinion is based on her experience.  She had a demanding nursing job when she was pregnant with my brother.  She said she almost had a miscarriage from overworking.  Since my parents were still young and didn't have a lot of money, she had to go back to work right away after my brother was born, so he was put in a day care from a really early stage.  My brother turned out a big big troublemaker and my mom blames her that it was because she didn't spend enough time with him when he was little.  After long 6 years later, she finally got pregnant again (She had a severe endo)  and I was born.  She quite her job and spent as much as time possible to raise me.  According to her, I turned out ok (really, mom?  I think u don't know me well!), so she thinks that I should follow her advice.  I totally understand her thoughts, but I cannot see myself becoming a stay home mom.
I am conflicted with her suggestion because of the following reasons.....

• My job is more flexible.  I can work from home if I want to as long as I have an Internet.  Family is more priority than work in the States, so it's easier to leave early if a baby gets sick.  Maybe, I will try to negotiate with my company if I can work from home twice per week.    
• I think it's easier for some people with certain type of jobs (nurse, teacher,etc) to be able to go back to work after years of a maternity leave.  For me, I work in a high tech field and things change so fast, so I am not too confident to be able to to go back to the same position years later.  Also, I invested time & money in my school, so it's difficult to give up my career.    
• Having 2 incomes make a big difference.  If we work hard now, we can afford to go on a big family trip and maybe retire early!
• What if....I hate to think about it, but what if something happens to my DH?  I feel I need to be independent for unforeseen future events.         
• There is a day care near my office!  I can literally walk there!!!  I had a facility tour 2 weeks ago and the place was decent.  I can visit my baby anytime I want and I can go there to nurse the baby at lunch time. 

This is the beauty of the 2nd Trimester.  I feel great, so I have time to think about a lot of things to prepare ourselves for the new life.  As soon as we find out the baby gender, we will get started on nursery items and registering some birth classes :)