Week 6 & 5 days: My First U/S Since Beta

Today was a big day.  In deed, it was one of the important milestones of my journey!

Morning:  I woke up before my alarm went off.  I couldn't fall back sleep so I was gazing at my bed ceiling and started thinking..."Ok, here we go.  The day is here.  I am hoping for good news, but I need to think about a plan in case if the result wasn't good...hmmm...cry my balls out?  Drink until I pass out???  I will just have to see...."

At the clinic:  My DH went with me the RE office.  Our appointment was on time and when we were waiting in a u/s room, my DH said "I am getting nervous".  It was a vaginal u/s.  Dr. Sheiber came in with a big smile.  He is really nice and makes me comfortable with what I am going through.  When he started monitoring my uterus, I almost wanted to close my eyes.  I did see 2 sacs, but I didn't know what I was seeing.  Dr. Sheiber said "Well, let me see more....I will tell you it's a good result though".  He said I have a very good looking embie with yolk sac & pole.  He pointed where something was blinking.  He said it's a heartbeat.  He didn't tell me the heartbeat rate and I forgot to ask.  The embie looked like a seahorse!!  It's amazing...it is my first time to see non-empty uterus.  Then, I started wondering about the black empty sac next to it.  Dr. Sheiber said "It could be that the embryo is a slow developer.  We will have to see what happens at the next u/s."

To be honest, I was disappointed and sad when I heard that.  I am not sure if it is going to survive or it is already gone.  Isn't it considered a m/c at this point?  I am very happy that I have one strong and healthy one, but I hate seeing others not surviving in this journey.  I guess I made myself to believe I have awesome eggs & uterus for some reason so all embies should survive...but obviously, that's incorrect.

At home:  I cannot stop looking at the picture!  It's a strange feeling that I have a life (or lives) in my at this moment.  I used to get grossed out when other people put their baby u/s picture on their FB, but I see it as a beautiful picture.  Having a baby is truly a miracle and like a magic!  My DH told me at dinner that he is very happy about having one.  He is concerned about twin pregnancy risk and all the extra work (everything needs to be for 2).  For me, I still hope the other will pop out at the next u/s in 2 weeks, so I am sending a lot of positive & growing vibes to my belly!!!!  

No more empty uterus!