Before I go into my upset & frustrating experience over the holiday, let me start with some positive news.
Looks like I passed the glucose challenge screening test! My OB hasn't called me back, so it means I am good to go :) We finally traded in my car with a family friendly Ford Escape over the holiday. We received a really good end-of-year deal and I absolutely LOVE my new car!!! The holiday break was so nice and we welcomed the year 2013 with good friends with a total new mindset.
This is what happened...
My bestie's baby girl (3 months) had a baptism last Saturday. It was very special because she choose me as a god mother besides her sister. I felt very special and I do consider her baby as my second daughter.
Everything went well at the ceremony and she invited her guests to her house for lunchen afterwords. I was mingling with people and then, I started talking with my bestie's husband mother and his business partner. We were talking about my pregnancy, baby, etc. Suddenly, the business partner said "Well, it's great that the first try worked for you guys. Thanks to the advanced technology". The mother was also nodding and adding some other comments. My head went blank for a second. I didn't know what they were talking about first, but it hit me that they were talking about our IVF. I smiled and said "I know, we are so thankful", but in my head "HOW THE HELL DO THEY KNOW ABOUT THIS???"
My DH and I decided not to be open about our IF struggles, so very few people knew about this. Only my parents, DH's parents, my bestie and 2 of my GFs. In the beginning of our IF treatment, no one knew about it, but I really needed someone to talk to and vent, so I shared our personal struggle with my bestie. She was so sincere and gave me a lot of emotional support through our journey. My DH wasn't happy about it and said "Everyone will know about us", but I said "No, they won't" Right before our IVF, I found out that my bestie's husband knew that we were having IVF. Both of them are good friends of ours, so it didn't bother us that she told about our personal matter to him only.
I haven't yet confirmed, but I am 100% sure it was him that who told his mom & business partner about our struggle and IVF.
The night when my DH and I went to bed, a big emotion hit me really hard. I couldn't stop crying. I was crying and so upset that how could he share our personal matter to some other people? Is fertility treatment some kind of cool things to tell other people? Do you know how emotionally & physically hard it was for us to go through that and finally have a baby? Maybe, you cannot understand the IF world and the reason why we kept this as a secret because you didn't struggle to have a baby. You guys weren't even trying to have a baby. It was an accident (well, they weren't preventing, to be accurate) Who else did you tell about us? Do our circle of friends know, too? Why did you have to share our names? Couldn't you just say "Someone I know is having a IVF..." How could you be so incensitive to this subject matter??
Waves and waves of emotion took over me that night and I couldn't fall a sleep at all. I felt upset and so unrespected. I was physically tired from crying and being so emotional but I couldn't sleep until 5:30am. I felt really bad for my baby girl because she knew I wasn't sleeping, so she kept moving. It made me cry more that I wasn't proving her good night sleep. I slept for 2 hours and broke down when DH woke up. He didn't blame me at all ("See I told you"), but listened and understood why I was so upset. He suggested that we remind my bestie/her husband that this is very personal so not to share with others. I felt a lot better after talking to my DH.
I am over with this and no longer upset or frustrated, but I will like to let him know how I felt and remind him to respect our personal matter.
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