Week 40 & Day 0: DUE DATE 3/23

I cannot believe I am finally writing the post about my delivery experience.  This is the last post to write on my blog, so here you go. 

A Couple of Days Before 3/23

I was still feeling good several days before Saturday.  I did have cramps here and there but nothing major.  I even went to get a pedi with my mom on Friday and we went out to have dinner that night.
I did take a long walk, ate a lot of pinapples, etc

A bad snow storm was heading to Cincinnati on Sunday, so we were very worried.  Our house is about 40 min away from the hospital, so we had a Plan B to stay in a hotel close by if nothing happened on Saturday.

3/23

3:30 am - I woke up to go to pee.  I felt cramps afterwords, but I went back to bed and fell asleep. 

6:00 am - I woke up again and went to bathroom.  There I saw some blood and I immediately thought it could be "blood show".  My heart was pounding and I told DH that I am going to take a shower just in case.  After I took a shower, I started having light cramps (feels like period cramps), so I decided to time how frequently it was coming by using a free app called "Full Term". 

8:00 am - 9:00 am - Cramp were coming in 7-8 min apart, but I still wasn't sure if they were contractions.  I called my OB and he told me to go to the hospital if I would like, so we got ready and left.  I didn't eat any breakfast because I was told in a birthing class, try not to eat too much before labor.  I grabbed a banana and snack bar hoping to nibble when I get to the hospital.   

11:00 am -  2:00 pm - We checked in @ Triage.  I didn't know what a triage was for, but I learned that women are monitored to see if they might go into a labor.  I asked the nurse if I can eat something small.  She said the only thing I can eat at this point is ice chips.  I couldn't even drink a juice at this point!! 

I was only 2 cm dilated, so a nurse told me to walk around a little bit.  At this point, I was getting more uncomfortable cramps.  We came back from 30 min walk and I was 3 cm dilated.  I was told that I had to be dilated at least 4 cm in order to stay.  There was NO WAY I wanted to be checked out and go home at that point.  Suddenly, I felt a release of water.  It was strange feeling, so I told the nurse "My water might have been broken".  Yes, it was indeed, so things changed quickly.   

2:00 pm - I was moved to a labor room.  The nurse in the room was so nice and cheerful, and she hooked me up with an IV.  My DH brought a relaxation CD, so we were listening while waiting for contractions to get stronger.

3:00 pm - My contractions were getting stronger and stronger.  It came in 3 min apart and my mom and DH could tell when they were coming from looking at the monitor in the room.  I was given a permission to start an epi at this point, but the nurse said "Hold until as long as you can if possible because an epi can delay the labor process".  I used a bouncing ball to ease the pain and DH was helping me with breathing techniques, but I could only tolerate the pain 45 min more.  It was so painful that I started crying, so I asked if I can get an epi.

4:30 pm -  An anesthesiologist came into the room and started setting up the epi.  It didn't take too long and it wasn't a bad experience.  My legs started feeling numb and I didn't feel my contractions afterwords.  I was smilling and chatting with DH & mom.  Wow, what a difference an epi makes!  However, I started feeling cramps on my right side after a while, so the nurse tried to make me sleep on other side, but it didn't fix.  I was still feeing my contraction, so an anesthesiologist came back and increased the dose and adjusted.  I felt good again. 

7:30 pm - My labor process stolled.  I was only 6 cm dilated at this point, so I was told that they would start small dose of Pitocin.  I read about Pitocin, so I didn't like the idea of having an induction, but I wanted to listen to my doctor's recommendation. 

8:30 pm - Pitocin worked!  I was 8 cm dilated.  I was getting exhausted little.  I haven't eaten anything and I wanted to eat something, but I couldn't. 

9:30 pm - The nurse said "Ok, it's about time.  Let's get ready to start pushing because you are finally at 10 cm dilated."  A reality hit me and DH at this point.  We told my mom to stay outside with DH's parents.  "OGM, this is it!!!!!!"  My legs were so numb and I had no idea how I was going to know if I am pushing.  I pushed for 30 min as I followed what the nurse told me to do.  I was out of breath and so exhausted.  I had NO IDEA how exhausting pushing can be, but I kept pushing somehow. 

The nurse called my OB, so he came in.  My OB said "Well, she is almost there and I see her head."  I pushed a couple of more and saw an black object coming out in the mirror.  It was the baby's head and she has a lot of hair!!!!!!! 

10:22 pm - HALEY SAKURA was born @ 10:22 pm, weighed 7 pounds & 1 oz and 19.5 inches long.  Sakura means "Cherry Bloosom" in Japanese.  I heard her crying as she was born and they put her on my chest right away.  I cried, but my first impression was "Who is this???"  I couldn't believe it was my little girl and for some reason, my mind denied what was happening.   She had a lot of black hair like me, but she didn't look like me or my DH.  I don't know why, but I was confused and the reality didn't hit me right away.  I had so much connection with her during my pregnancy and envisioned to have the highest moment when I hold her for the first time, so I was really taken back by how I couldn't establish a connection with her right away.  Maybe, it was because I was looking forward to this day so much, however my mind couldn't process it right.        

I had a second degree tear and it was after midnight by the time we could call our parents into the room.  We were all exhausted, but it was such an emotional moment.  My mom was crying and DH's parents were over the moon to meet the baby.  We finally revealed her name and they loved it.                             

It's unbelievable that she was born on my original due date.  I know she has been an amazing baby since I got pregnant, but this was a icing on the cake. 

Like I mentioned in the beginning, this is my last post on this blog.  I am so glad that I had this blog to express my true feeling and document my experiences during one of the toughest time of my life.  I no longer feel like I am walking on the winding road of IF and this chapter of my life has closed. 

I have never blogged before this one, but I am actually thinking to start another new blog with an appropriate blog title about post birth experiences as I went through a lot of events since she was born and I love to keep a journal to remember each experiences. 

Oh by the way, as the time went by, my mind started working normal and I am so in love with my daughter Haley.  In fact, I cannot stop looking at her sweet face and smelling her baby scent.  She is just perfect and I cannot wait to spend many more years with her. 



Haley Sakura!!!

Week 39 & 3 Days: Almost to the Finish Line

4 days till my due date of March 23rd (Saturday).....OMG!!
It felt forever at some point, but it indeed went so fast.  I cannot believe that a count down has began.

OB Appointment

Everything looks great and there was a progress!!  I was a finger tip dilated last week, but it's 2cm now.  I know it doesn't really mean too much since a progress can stall anytime, but according to my OB, the baby will probably be born this weekend or earlier!!  He told me that 4% women have their babies on their original due date.  He asked me to give them a call if I have labor symptoms like water breaking, contraction b/w 3-5 min apart, bleeding, etc.  If I didn't have any of those, my next appointment would be next week.   

Physically  

I am still feeling ok, but I feel a lot of pressure down low.  I noticed the my discharge has increased.  My baby is moving tons.  I read somewhere that baby movement can decrease as the time gets closer, but I am not sure if it's true for everyone.  My mom said I was moving tons even after her water broke.  I read somewhere if I excercise tons, eat pinapple and spicy food, have sex, etc, I can naturally induce the labor.  I have no clue if they are true of not, but I might give it try around this Thursday or so except having a sex!  My baby is so down low and my OB can feel her head when he does a cervix check, so there is no way I want to have a sex now!

Mentally

My DH and I had a little fight over the weekend and it temporary pushed me away from "the happiest person in the world" mood, but I think I've recovered from it.  I am back on having a good spirit about everything. 

A new feeling developed yesterday though. I went to my last prenatal yoga class last night.  I can still go next week if I didn't have a baby, but it's like 40 minutes drive from home.  I love the instructor, Kate, so I wanted to keep going to the same studio as long as I could, but I decided that it was the last class. 

On the way home from the class, it suddenly hit me that I am so close to the finish line.  My pregnancy journey is almost till the end.  I have a whole another life with the baby after she is born and I am so thrilled to share her with my DH, family & friends, but I am going to really miss the special and intimate bond I've shared with her.  I did spend every moment with her for almost 10 months.  Feeling her movement, hearing her HB, seeing her U/S pictures and a growing belly were beyond amazing experiences for me.  I was the only person who knew when she was moving every time, so I felt like it was a little secret just between us.    

GAME ON, MISS H!!!!   LET'S DO THIS TOGETHER!!!!!! 

Week 38 & Day 6: Only 8 Days To Go!

"One 8 Days To Go!"  That's my pregnancy ticker was showing when I logged into TB today.  That's right, my due date is next weekend!!!!  I have so many updates.

OB Appointment
NST -   It was another success one!  She was a bit sleepy when I got hooked up, but she eventually started moving, so my OB said she is an A+ baby :)
Effaced - Still around 80%
Dilation - Fingertip dilated, so looks like I am tiny bit dilated.
Station - -1 station.  This was new to me, so I looked up what it means.  Station is how far the baby is away from my cervix, so looks like my baby's head is 1 cm away from my cervix.  My OB said, the baby is dropped quite low and he can feel her head (eeeeks!!)   

Mom
Mom is here!!!  She came all the way from far away land of Japan and I am so happy that I didn't go into a labor earlier because I wanted to spend some time with my mom catching up.  She is staying for about 2 months, so she will be a big help.  However, my DH and I had to sit down and talk about this.  I learned that many men feel a bit out of loop when in-law is helping with a newborn, so we made sure to openly talk if my mom gets on our way.  My DH will be the only person during the labor and everyone will be outside to wait until the baby is born. 

Animals    
I am little bit concern about our 3 fluffy daughters...  My dog is very spoiled and attention freak, so I hope she does not get jealous of the new baby.  I've looked into tips on how to prepare for my pets.  We have baby stuff everywhere in the house and I let my dog smell the diapers, but she was so indifferent!  I am also worried about cats because I heard they love the smell of milk. They can jump really high, so the last thing I want to discover is that cats are snuggling with the baby in bassinet or crib!!!

I also took my pup to a grooming salon today. (She goes to the Petsmart grooming salon more frequently than I go to a salon lately!)  She is clearn, so she is ready to meet her new sister :)



Got haircut and shampoo for my sis!


Baby Showers from DH's Work   
This was unexpected and was so sweet of girls at his office to throw us a shower!!!  We had a lunchen and they gave us great baby gifts!  2 years subscription of Parent magazine, Video monitor from my registry and tons of cute outfits and rockstar (Ed Harley) onesies!!!   

Prenatal Massage
My in-law gave me a gift card for a massage at a spa called "Becoming Mom" which specializes prenatal massages.  I wanted to go after I am full term as a treat, so I booked an appointment on Saturday afternoon.  O.M.G.  I had the best massage experience!!!!  I told the masseuse about my sciatic & back pain and her technique and pressure level was heavenly.  I usually don't talk during a massage, but since she knew so much about becoming mom, we kept talking the entire time!  It was really great, so I am going back to her postpartum massage for sure.

Me
I am still doing great.  I had a lot of cramps and problems walking normal last Friday, so I thought that was it that I was in labor, but nope, I was wrong.  My discomfort went away after I slept well that night.  I was curious how my mental state would be the week before my due date, but I am as happy as I can be.  At this point, I am not scared of anything in terms of epi, c-section, labor pain, etc.  I feel ready to welcome my daughter, but DH and I are swamped at work, so we won't mind if she arrives around our due date!  I just feel so much excitement from ppl around us and I cannot keep my thoughts away from my little girl who is still moving quite bit.  Let the countdown begin for the big day!!!!!!       

Week 37 & 6 Days: Full Term!

I am soooo happy that I reached this milestone.  Full term is considered 37 weeks because that's when the fetus's lungs are supposely fully developed and that's the last organ to develope.  At the same time, I am paying attention to any signs of labor because technically, I can go into a labor anytime!!!  On the 3rd tri check-in, I am the 3rd top one from the list in terms of the due date, eeeeeekkks!!!

OB Appointment

Now, I have a weekly appointment.  I really like that becuase it gives me peace of mind and I can get to hear my baby's HB for 20 min for NST!  My OB did a quick cervix check and he said "You are effaced about 80%, but 0% dialated.  This is great".  I didn't know exactly what he meant, so I did research about this, but there is no real conclusion because many women can be effaced or dialated a couple of weeks before giving birth and looks like everyone is different.  I did learn that my body is definately getting ready for the big day and effacement at this point can mean a smooth delivery.  Also, when this is the first baby, cervix will probably efface before it dilates.  For some reasons, I have a feeling I might go into a labor before my due date, but let's see if my prediction is true.....  

I forgot to ask him about the result from Group B Strep test.  I am assuming I am ok becuase they haven't mentioned anything about it.  My blood pressure was higher than normal at last appointment, but looks like it's back to normal, so I am glad!  I am not completey out of woods yet.  I still have concerns and anxiety about PreE, Still birth, etc.  I am still praying for everything to go well until I see my healthy baby.        

Baby Stuff

We got big baby items assembled and successfully (?) installed the baby car seat!  As for installing the car seat, we followed the instruction, but we aren't sure if it's correct as the base still moves.  At the birthing class, we were told to contact a fire department because they will correctly install a car seat for us, so we are going to do that this weekend.    

I love this Pack'N Go from BRU!  It was on sale and it's teddy bear!!  We will have this in our living room so that we don't have to go upstairs to change diapers, etc.  It took a while to assemble, so it's not as "Pack'N Go" as I thought!

I was told that having a bouncer is nice because it's very portable and you can carry it around with the baby.  If I am taking a shower, I can put my baby in there, so she will be under my supervision all the time.

Our house has many baby stuff now, so it feels so real that we are welcoming LO soon to this house! 

Graco's Travel Stroller

 

Pack'N Play for downstairs

 

Bouncer

 Freezer Food:

I LOVE cooking.  To me, cooking is so much fun and gives me such a Zen moment, so I was actually looking forward to this task!  I love buying fresh products and I enjoyed making 4 frozen dishes for post baby arrival.  I made "Cheesy Casserole", "Greek Lasagne", "Chicken Lemon" & "Creamy Tortellini"
 

They are all new recipes, so I hope they are tasty!

DH Letter:

This was also on my check list of week 37.  I wanted to write a very personal letter for my DH once I hit the full term.  I usually write letters /cards when I want to be reallly personal with someone.  Basically, I wanted to share my feeling with him and thank him for every support he's provided through this journey.  He was my rock during this ups and downs past years and I am so lucky to have someone like this in my life.  I couldn't stop crying while writing this letter, but I did complete it!  It's safely sealed and packed in the hospital bag for now.  It's surreal, but he will be reading this letter when we are at the hospital before the baby's arrival.


Very special letter for my soul mate

Other things....

I am physically and mentally still doing ok, but I am definitely walking like a prego!  I feel like my tail bone will break at some point.  My hands are quite swollen and are bit painful to bend fingers, but my feet seem ok.  I had my last chiropractor session and my sciatic pain is better.  I am still trying to walk on the tredmill for 30 minutes, but it's getting a bit more uncomfortable now.  I am still going to a prenatal yoga once a week and I am finally the oldest in terms of pregnancy week among the class, so I get to pick how many squat flows we do!   

I feel good about what has been accomplished so far, but there are still small things to do here and there.  Oh, I need to look into the 529 college saving plan!!

Week 36 & 4 Days: Baby Shower, Nursery & 36 OB Appointment

I feel like there was a lot of accomplishments in the week 36! 

Nursery:

We put a lot of fun thoughts on our nursery and LOVE how it turned out!  I am glad that we had a theme "Teddy bears in the woods" because it made it easier to pick wall paint colors and decorations.  We originally thought about painting a bear on the wall by ourselves, but I am glad we didn't and ordered a wall decal instead.  The steps were simple, but it took us a bit to put it up becuase the stickers weren't sticking to where there were supposed to.  This is the site I ordered the bear decal.  http://www.etsy.com/search?q=wall%20decal&view_type=gallery&ship_to=US&ref=auto1

I think we kept the nursery room pretty gender neutral.  We definitely want to have another baby, so I didn't want to make it too girly.  It's really nice to finally see where I will be spending my time with my girl :) 

Now, I need my mom to bring my teddy bear collection and buy some more stuff like crib & changing mats and sheets.  My BFF let me borrow a bassinet, so we will have the baby in our bed room for a couple of months.  Technically, she will not be here sleeping right the way, but this is where I will be BFing her and completing a nursery is one of the fun projects during the pregnancy!

Baby Shower:

My in-laws and friends wanted to throw me one, so I decided to have a back-to-back showers over the weekend.  Both showers were amazing and I could tell they put so much thoughts into planning showers, so I was so thankful and loved everything they did for me and our baby girl!!!  I am glad that I didn't combine family & friends because I got to talk to everyone at my showers.  We did get a lot of nice gifts...tons of baby clothes!!!!  My BFF told me not to put outfit on the registry and she was right.  People love to get you cute baby clothes.  Miss H already has 10 newborn sleepers & 12+ onesies!!!!  I know a baby grows so fast, so she has to have a fashion show every day so that she can wear all the clothes she's got.     

My mother & sister in law got us a very nice photo session as a gift.  They were so excited, but it actually created a problem :(  I found this photographer who does a series of session called "Belly to Baby" which includes newborn, 3 months, 6 months, 9 months & 1 year for a great price.  We just did an optional maternity session and loved her work.  I felt really bad telling them that we already got the photo sessions taken care of....I hope we can get a refund and use the money towards bigger items on our registry. 



One of the baby shower games.  Hand made designer onsies by girls!!



Those are all for 0-3 months.  Time to wash and put away!

 36 Weeks OB Appointment

My OB wanted to do additional tests for this appointment.  After this, I will have an appointment every week, eeeeks!!

NST (Fetal Non Stress Test)  -  This test is usually conducted if your pregnancy is at high risk.  Due to my age, my OB wanted to conduct this test to make sure the baby is healthy.  A nurse hooked me up on a bigger doppler monitor to check the baby's HB.  It lasted for 20 minutes and they told me to push a button whenever I felt baby moving or contractions.  She gave me a cup of water to stimulate the baby and it worked.  The baby moved and HB went up when I drank water.  Basically, the nurse wanted to monitor the HB rate going up while the baby was moving.  My OB said the result was EXCELLENT and wants to do this every week from now on.  I had a wishful thinking that I might get to see her on U/S, but nope....it was such a soothing 20 minutes to listen to her HB though! 

Cervix Check - My OB did a cervical exam to check whether my cervix has begun to open (dilate) or soften (efface) in preparation for birth.  He said, it's soft, but not dialated.  He also said the baby dropped and he can feel her head!!  I was really happy to hear that because it means she is head down now. 

Group B Strep Test - My OB swabed me down there for this test.  This test is conducted for a bacteria, which can cause complications during pregnancy and serious illness in newborns.  He said 40% of his patients get it, so it's pretty common.   If the group B strep test is positive, I'll be given antibiotics during labor to prevent group B strep disease in my baby.

Maternity Photos

The photo CD finally came in!  I was very happy with the photos and decided to use some of the photos on  my baby shower thank you card.  Yes, that's right.  My next task is to send off thank you cards!!

  

Week 35 & 3 Days: 35/35 Milestone

I actually didn't know what this milestone really is until recently.  The Bump has so many acronym / special glossary terms so I am learning as I go.  I knew 35/35 happens on the week 35, but I didn't know that it also means 35 days left until the due date!!!  35 days doesn't seem too far.  In fact, it's almost a month until the big day.  I have to say the mid part of the 3rd Trimester is going by fast.  After this milestone, the next big one is "full term"!!!!!  

I had a Monday off so I made some progress on my checklist. 

Hospital Bag     
This was a MUST item to do since I had the strange cramp last week.  I've browsed several websites to see what to pack, I think I will just stick to stuff which can fit in my small travel suitcase for now.  I did use the bump checklist.  (http://pregnant.thebump.com/pregnancy/pregnancy-tools/articles/checklist-packing-a-hospital-bag.aspx)

- Comfortable pajama with easy nursing access and bath robe
- Nursing bra / tanktop and nursing pads
- Warm socks / slippers
- Travel size toiletries
- Comfortable change of cloths for when we go home
- Sugar free candy, snacks, chocolate, etc
- Relaxing music CDs 
- "Mom" pendant neckless DH got me for Xmas :)

I still need pack LO's clothes like onesie, mittens, hat,  socks, warm outfit, etc, but I will wait till I am done with my showers this weekend.  As for mittens, I learned that a newborn has very sharp nails, so mittens are must.  I actually bought Gerber long sleeve onesies with mittens.  I also packed a secret bag for my DH.  I put a special onesie "Daddy's princess", his favorite snacks, Red Bulls, Man's travel size toiletries, and a book called "The New Dad's Survival Guide".  I am also going to put a letter, but I am gonna wait to write one until I reach 37th week.  

Breast Pump       
I have BCBS as my insurance company.  I called in advance to make sure they cover a breast pump.  They told me that I first had to get a prescription written by my OB, so I did.  A lactation consultant from a birthing class highly recommended "Medela - Pump in Style Advanced", so I asked my OB to write that down.  Looks like everyone I've talked to said to use a high-end Medela pump.   

Then, I had to go to a medical equipment supplier on the BCBS list to get a pump.  I just picked Drug Mart closest to my home, so I went there last week.  I gave them my insurance info and they said, they need to confirm with my insurance about the coverage amount.  I got an call to pick it up and when I went there, they told me that my insurance will cover about half the cost.  The original price was $299.99 and the insurance paid $154.99, so my out of pocket was $145.  Since my IVF, I saved some money in the HSA account, so I just used the money from there. 

To be honest...it looks really intimidating.  I don't know how it works and I cannot practice yet.  I learned from a class that I should be breast feeding instead of bottle feeding in the first month so that a baby can get used to latch my nipples.  I will have to use a pump from the first month though since I am going back to work 6 weeks after.  I can freeze BM up to 3 months, so I need to stock up for my work and DH!!!
   

Would I look hideous wearing this?

Daycare / Pediatrician
We have chosen both places, but I wanted to officially register at both places.  I went to the daycare and filled out the application form and paid the registration fee to book a spot for May.  My baby girl will be still tiny in May, so it will be hard for me to let her go to a daycare, but I know we are making a right choice.   

I called a pediatrician office and they told me that they won't do pre-registration.  Basically, I just need to call them once I have a baby at the hospital.  Well, it's easy enough.

Nursery / Nesting 
Since we moved into a new house, we started a nursery project and so far, I LOVE our ideas!!!  Our goal is to complete by end of this week, before the shower, so we are making a good progress. 

I haven't started nesting yet, but I did buy a washing detergent.  I've read that Dreft is over kill for the price, so I was looking for some good alternatives.  I was at Target yesterday and was overwhelmed with so many choices!!!!  I ended up choosing "All Free & Clear" as a start.  If it doesn't work, I will do more research.  (http://babyclothes.about.com/od/babyclothingcare/tp/Top7BabyLaundryDetergents.htm)



Starting to nest?

 Me Physically / Mentally
I have a constant low back pain I've been dealing several weeks and it seems getting worse.  I think it's natural as I/baby gains weight every week.  It's not a muscular pain...rather lower back bone ache.  I cannot lay my belly up anymore because the baby's weight pushes down my belly/back, so it's super uncomfortable.  I need to lay sideways all the time, but I feel like I am pushing my baby's head of legs (assuming she might be in a transverse position).       

I also noticed today that I cannot get my wedding band out from my finger!!!  I guess my fingers are starting to swell.  I've heard that your feet swell during the 3rd trimester, but I haven't noticed my feet yet.  I always take off my ring when I come home, so I am not sure if it's better not to wear my ring for a while...

Mentally, I feel I am ready to meet my LO and I wish it was already March.   

Week 34 & Day 4: Save A Baby

Save A Baby

We attended the last baby class we have registered.  It's is called "Save A Baby".  Basically, we learned how to CPR infant/children and what to do in situations such as chocking or drowning.  We decided to take this class pretty close to my due date because we believed this is one of the most important classes and didn't want to forget.  Last CPR class I took was at my previous work several years ago and my DH had never taken one, so I was glad we signed up for this class. 

One thing it really made me think is that there is no relief in raising a child.  Until the middle of the 2nd trimester, I was so caught up with this anxiety that something might happen to my baby in the uterus.  As my mind started preparing for the post delivery phase, I learned about SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome) and other risks children can face throughout their lifetime.  Basically, a tragedy can happen and sometimes there is nothing you can do.  I heard that many parents are very worried about the first child, but their anxiety level tends to come down as they have more kids.  I know we cannot be worried about every little things for 24/7, but the CPR class made me think of my old neighbor's little girl.

There was a family with many kids across from our house in our old neighborhood.  I think some of them are from their previous marriage, so we couldn't tell who was whose, but there were always 4-5 kids in their driveway playing.  One morning, my DH was taking a shower and I was waking up but was still in the bed.  TV was on, so I could hear the news.  My mind wasn't fully awake yet but I jumped out my bed when I heard the news was talking about a death in my subdivision.  We couldn't get too much information where and what happened from the news, but we saw bunch of cars in front of the house across from us.  At work, I was checking online for more details and finally found out that one of our neighbor's little girl was drowned in a bathtub and passed away.  Looks like both the parents were at work when this happened.  A nanny was at home watching their little ones.  The nanny found the little girl unconscious in the bathroom and called 911.  She was taken to the nearest hospital, but it was too late..she didn't make it.  We were very sadden by this news and visited the family when we got home.  They had several relatives over at their house, but when I saw the parents, I couldn't stop crying and hugged the mom.  Nothing came out of my mouth other than "I am so sorry".  The mom said "I wish I didn't go into work that morning or could change something so that this didn't happen".  It's not her fault, but I couldn't imagine what kind of sorrow the family was going through.  The CPR class reminded me of this sad day, but I hope the family is staying strong and doing well.

OB Check @ Week 34                       

I had my OB appointment on Monday.  Everything was pretty much the same as 2 weeks ago and nothing new except I gained 3 pounds since!  My baby is doing well and I like that my OB seems me every 2 weeks.  It will be every week in a couple of weeks, wow!  She told me that they want to have NST (Non Stress Test) because I am over 35 and cervix check @ week 36.  She said she isn't worry about the baby's orientation until week 36.  Looks like the baby is still in the transverse or inclined position.  I cannot believe I will hit the full term after my next appointment!

Time for A Hospital Bag?

Luckily, I haven't had too much discomfort during sleeping yet.  However, I struggle with sleeping positions on Tuesday night and woke up little tired on Wednesday.  I usually feel the best when I wake up in the morning, but I felt different this morning.  I felt a cramp.  I stepped out of my bed and didn't feel good.  I felt a pressure around my cervix as I walked and was feeling a cramp.  I suddenly thought "Am I having a contraction???"  I think I have experienced several Braxton Hicks so far and I have read how a contraction feels like, but I wasn't sure.  The first thing it came to my mind was "Geees, I haven't packed my hospital bag!" 

I got dressed and went into work.  I felt better after sitting down on my chair and my cramp and the cervix pressure went away eventually, but this made me think that I should be a bit more prepared for a possible early labor.  Since my pregnancy has been progressing pretty normal, I assumed that I will make it until close to the due date, but how do I know that?!?  I want to pack my hospital bag this weekend and put a towel in my car in case my water breaks when I am not at home!  DH hardly ever travels but of course, he needs to travel twice for his work very close to the time when I am full term.  We should also discuss logistics who is gonna take care of our pets when we go to a hospital, etc. 

I just realized my next milestone 35/35 is around the corner, wow!                

Week 33 & 3 Days: My Baby Is A Size Of Durian!

I woke up with a leg cramp on Monday morning.  Ouch, it really hurts!!!!  I know this is one of the common pregnancy symptoms, but I cannot get used to it.  I am drinking more water and trying to stretch my feet whenever I remember.

My baby is the size of a durian!  I have never eaten this fruit, but I've heard person either hates it or love it.  I heard it smells really bad like a sweaty feet, yuck!  My old roommate from college told me a story of her aunt trying to bring a durian to the States from Singapore a long time ago.  She put the fruit in her suitcase and checked in.  Her flight didn't take off for a while because people didn't know where the strong smell was coming from!!!  Personally, I feel like I have a watermelon in my belly.  It's getting bigger and bigger!!!

Soooo, my latest news are...
Maternity Photo
We did it!!!!  I am sooooo glad I looked into this and decided to do the official photo shoot.  I did look around to find a reputable photographers, but I found this photographer's brochure at BBB.  She had a first year collection of photo shoot called "Belly to Baby" which includes newborn, 3 months, 6 months, 9 months and 1 year.  Maternity and birth photography are also available but optional.  It's $140 per session and I think it's really reasonable.  My friends said they paid around $300 for each photo shoot.

My photo session was at her studio and lasted for an hour.  Once she edits the original, she will give me digital copies.  It's perfect because once I get the digital copies, I am going to order prints from Shutterfly or even make a photo book!  I wanted to wear something really simple...simple enough which I can show off my bump, so I just wore a white tank top, leggings & UGG boots.  My DH wore a white polo shirt with sneakers.  None of my regular tank top fully covered my belly, so I went to a maternity store to buy a tank top.  I actually ended up getting a nursing tank.  I need one soon anyway, so why not, right?  I didn't want to show that it was a nursing tank, so I hid the clips on the strap with bows and it turned out pretty cute :)  The photographer let us bring our dog, so she is in some of the photos.  We did sit down, standing up, ones with different backgrounds, etc so we have variety of different type of photographs. I googled some ideas of certain poses, so I shared with her and she accommodated my wish.  I cannot wait to see how they turn out!!!

I am really glad I decided to capture the moment of my 3rd trimester because what if we can never get pregnant again?  We are hopeful since IVF #1 worked for us, but we never know what our future will look like in 3 years...

House                         
We are beyond excited about this because we are finally moving into a new house this weekend!!!!!  It's really hard to contain our excitement at this point and I wish this week flies by!  Our number one priority project is nursery.  The theme of our nursery is teddy bear :)  I collected many teddy bears since I was young, so I have a special place for teddy bears in my heart.  I love them and having a nursery full of teddy bears is my dream!  We picked 2 shades of green for wall paint colors to make it look like a forest.  I ordered a big tree sticker for a wall and a swing chair.  DH got me a huge pink bear when we found out that I was pregnant, so we will place him in the chair.  My baby showers are in 2 weeks, so I hope we can finish the nursery by then.

Baby    
Wow, I can definitely feel differences in baby's movement.  It used to be taps here and there, but they are a lot stronger now.  My belly sometimes shake and it cracks me up!  I could be wrong, but I can kind of tell if certain movements are her hand or feet.  I feel like there is an alien in my belly and she is trying to come out!

By now, I heard that she can recognize and remember my voice, so I have been talking to her more.  I just tell her what's going in my life and how excited I am to see her soon.  I probably should read some books to her, too.  I also try to listen to classical / spa type music whenever possible.  Looks like no one knows for sure if music affect fetal development, but it makes me relax, so that must be good for my baby girl!

It's really hard not to buy too many baby clothes now because I know everyone wants to buy cute baby outfit.  I did get a few cute sleepers. They were darn cute, so I couldn't help it!!  My family friends from NJ sent me a package with tons of baby summer clothes!  They are adorable and I cannot wait to dress my baby girl in those this summer.  It makes me wanna get a cute baby bathing suit, hat. sandals and so many other things which won't be necessary this summer, but thinking about them makes me soooooo excited that we will be holding our LO and enjoying BBQ this summer.            



Cute Summer Outfit!!



Week 32 & Day 3: 53 Days Until Due Date!

WHAT??  It's only 53 days away until my due date?  I was surprised to see that when I saw the bump ticker today.  If I simply calculate the 40 weeks of pregnancy, it converts into 280 days.  I have completed 81% of my pregnancy process.  WOW! 

I am looking back all the weeks which have passed and it makes so much sense why there are 3 trimesters.  They are different and here are quick recaps of my pregnancy experience.

1st Tri
- Morning sickness started around 8 weeks.  I had to put something in my mouth so often, otherwise, I would get nauseous.  I had a food aversion esp. meat, veggies and some of my favorite food.  Pasta & potato were my lifesavers.  I love cooking, but I couldn't bring myself to cook some nights. 

- Mentally, I was sooooo scared of something bad might happen.  Especially after I found out that one of 2 embies didn't survive in my body, I learned that my body isn't all that safe and secure.  My OB told me that my progestrone level is excellent and I am a great candidate for having twins, so that made me think my uterus was like a 5 star hotel, but I was totally wrong.  I had so many nightmares during the 1st tri and my anxiety was out of roof.

2nd Tri
- I felt more pregnant and pregant as weeks went by.  U/S from my NT scan blew my mind that there is in deed a baby in me.  The baby was jumping up and down, busy sucking her thumb, etc.  I felt a precious life in me. 

- Pregnancy annoucement.  Such a great feeling to share the wonderful news with family and friends, but I felt there is no turning back.  I often thought how I would react or what to say to people if we lost our baby.  Like everyone says, I had a lot of energy during 2nd trimester.  Eventually, I overcame my fear and started enjoying my pregnancy.  I bought many baby books and frequent trips to baby stores.   

- Gender reveal.  It was a nerve racking but over the moon experience.  My DH didn't want to find out the gender so we have a surprise to look forward to.  I understand why some ppl don't want to find out, but here is what I felt when we found out.  Until the gender reveal, I felt "we are having a baby" and it was a baby in general, but finding out that "we are having a daughter" was a very special moment.  To me, it gave me more realistic expectations and made my baby and I closer. 

- Feeling baby's movement.  This is one of the best experiences during the pregnancy.  I started feeling my baby moves day after we found out the gender.  It's so innocent, soothing and intimate experience.  This really helped to ease my pregnancy anxiety.

3rd Tri   
- My belly really popped and I look obviously pregnant.  I actually really really love my look in 3rd trimester!  I never appreciated beauty of pregnant women before, but I do now.  They look absolutely stunning!!!  I started noticing more pregnancy & baby stores in town.   

- Physically, I am feeling more uncomfortable every week.  At this point, I cannot seem to find a comfortable posture on my couch, so the best is to lay on my sides.  However, I am quite lucky that I am sleeping really well.  My baby sleeps when I am sleeping, so she has never woken me up.  I do get up to go pee middle of the night, but I can usually fall right back to sleep.  Speaking of pee, it's embrassing, but I sometimes pee in my pants when I sneeze or laugh really loud!!  I cannot help it!!!    

- Increase in appetite, esp. sweets.  I seldom needed deserts after dinner but it's a must item now.  I would usually order more meaty type breakfast (eggs/ham,etc) when we go for a brunch on weekend, but empty calories items such as pancakes/french toasts are so much more appetizing to me now!          


Let's see what coming up days/weeks/month will bring, but I cannot contain my excitement because it's getting closer every day to finallly meet our baby girl !!!!

Week 31 & Day 6: Monthly OB Appointment

It's a snowy day in Cincinnati, so I was extra careful when I went outside this morning.  I already gave up my favorite shoes with heels a while back when I found out that I was pregnant.  Since I am small, I like to add more hights by wearing heels, but not during my pregnancy.  UGG boots are my life saver this winter!

As I expected, there was nothing special about my visit to OB today.  I gave my urine sample and a nurse took my BP and checked my weight.  I gained 4 pounds from a months ago.  After that, my OB checked the baby's HB and measured my belly.  She said "Your baby and you are doing fantastic so far!"  I wish I could see her on the u/s...but it was really soothing to hear her fast and good HB!  I asked OB what my baby's orientation is because I thought she is head down now.  I was WRONG!  She touched my belly and said "The baby is probably in the sideway position."  It's kinda funny that a baby can position herself/himself in certain ways in a tight uterus!  I feel my baby often, but I am just curious where her head is or if it's her arms/legs when I feel movements.  I heard preg women would need to go pee more once the baby's head is down.  I drink a lots of water, so my bathroom trips are frequent already.  Maybe, I will notice this eventually.

My OB visit is set for every 2 weeks from now on.  It's officially less than 2 months away from my due day, so I cannot contain my excitement!!!

How am I doing?        

Some days are a bit uncomfortable esp. after I come back from work and my sciatic nerve pains are back, but I am not complaining!!!  I realized how much I enjoy being pregnant.  I might change my mind once I experience "This is really uncomfortable stage" later, but I am so happy that I could get pregnant.  I look back sometimes where I was at and how I was feeling a year ago, being able to get pregnant repaints my world from gray to sunny blue sky.

Oh, infant car seat canopy arrived :)  The order took a while b/c this particular type was back order, but it was worth the wait!  I love the color and print inside out.  Actually, this was free from http://www.carseatcanopy.com/.  I only paid its shipping cost and an optional embroidery of our baby girl's name.  I was a bit worried about the quality since it was free, but it's really good!  The inside is so soft and I can use it for all year round.  I cannot WAIT to share our baby girl name...Miss H.. :)     

Personalized Car Seat Canopy

Week 30 & Day 6: Day Care & Pediatrician Check *2!

Wow, I stepped in the 30th week!!!!  Moving from 20 week to 30 week feels different.  I feel more pregnant and I notice some physical changes, too!

I have been feeling my belly stretching more.  It doesn't hurt, but it's not a pleasant feeling.  Oh well, my baby is growing, I guess!  I am also guessing my baby turned her head down now because I am having new sensation in the past couple of days.  First of all, I feel her hiccups in the lower belly.  Second of all, I feel some movements below my boobs and I am wondering if they are her legs!  Lastly, I feel more pressure in the lower belly.  I know a baby can change her/his orientation anytime and I don't have to concern about this yet, but it's really interesting to pay attention to changes.  Oh, I am getting sweet cravings!  Even I am so full from dinner, I cannot go without eating some sort of desert every night.   

Day Care   

YES YES YES!!!!  We finally found the ONE we feel comfortable sending our daugher to.  I have to say it took a couple of months to choose one and I am so relieved the searching for a day care is over.  We went to visit 5 different facilities and we chose the last one we visited.  I had no idea there are so many day care places.  They are everywhere!!!  It's good that we have several choices, but I was getting overwhelmed!!! 

Here is a quick summary of day cares:

#1  -  Close to work and I can literally walk.  This was the cheapest, but the smallest building space.  The building looks old / cluttered.

#2 - On the way to my work.  It looks new and clearn inside / outside.  They have "watch me grow" camera system so I can log in and monitor my baby from the Internet.  Go-Green focus.  Price - a bit high

#3 - On the way to my work. Well known day care (aka Kindercare).  Strong educational curriculum.  Diverse environment (both babies and teachers).  Price is same as #2

#4 - Close to my house.  Price is great and includes diapers!  It looks clean and organized.  There is a big gym room for kids to run around and play when the weather is bad outside.  Day care staff seem questionable...

#5 - Close to my house.  Price is average.  The building looks nice and clearn inside and outside.  They have "watch me grow" camera in each room.  Tons of activies for kids and parents (e.g. Parents date night).  Teach Spanish and Japanese from 18 mon!!!!

#5 wasn't under the rader at all and I just saw it on the way to #4, so I said to DH "Let's check it out just in case".  I am sooooo glad we did because we both felt great about #5.  I couldn't believe that this place teaches Japanese to toddlers.  That was a total surprise and bonus.  I am huge fun of diversity and having multi-cultural environment for my kids is very important for me. 

The key of choosing the right place was to bring my DH to the facility tour.  He noticed something I missed and gave great input.          

Pediatrician

We are done with this item, too!  By the way, pediatricians are everywhere, too.  I got a list of recommended places from my OB and went to angieslist.com to check their reviews.  I picked 2 based on the review and setup an meet & greet appointment.

#1 - A bit out of way from our house.  Smaller clinic with 2 doctors.  Their buiding is newer and has a cool fish tank!  One of the nurse is a lactation consultant.  Friendly staff and we met both doctors.  They seem very nice and answered all our questions.

#2 - Closer to our house.  Bigger clinic with several doctors.  Open until 8 during weekdays and Saturday afternoon.  The meet and greet session was very formal and professional and they gave us a packet to take home (plus cookies & chocolate!).  One nurse who attended the session was a lactation consultant.  Has a lab in the building and the staff seem knowledgable.               

To be honest, we liked both.  The biggest difference is that #1 offers more personal approach as there are only 2 doctors, so he/she will get to know our baby personally.  However, other places will give us flexibility on who to see when our baby gets sick.  We really liked the longer business hour and weekend hour.  #2 meet and greet was so professionally done, so we felt good.  I like that both places have a nurse with lactation professional background.

We agreed to pick #2 and didn't feel needs to see anymore facility, so this item is off of my to-do list!!   

Week 29 & 6 Days: Baptism Prep Class

Even though my baby girl is not here yet, looking into a baptism is one of things on our mind.  10 months of pregnancy seems a plenty time to get ready for our baby, but I feel like we are running out of time!!  We are still in the process of finding a daycare & pediatrician and prepping a nursary.  Those items do take time!

My DH was born and raised in a catholic family.  On the other hand, I didn't grow up around religion, so I decided to become a catholic before we got married.  We actively started going to a church a year and half ago.  I love our church and it helped us so much during our fertility struggles as well as pregnancy.  I remember about this friendly family of mom/dad/daughter started talking to us when we started going to this church.  We found out that the mom works for an adoption agency.  We were going through fertility treatments when we met, so I really thought an adoption was our calling.  Thankfully, IVF worked and we didn't have to pursue an adoption, but I did some research about an adoption here and there.     

Anyway, we met a baptism coordinator last night.   There was another couple in the class who already had a baby 4 months ago. When the baptism coordinator introduced herself and told her background, I immediately connected her.  She said she struggled with infertility so they ended up having quadruplets! Then, she was blessed for miracle children afterwords, so she has 6 kids.  Of course, I didn't raise my hand or speak up and said, "We also had infertility issue!", but it made me really emotional.  I think I will always have a big respect and connection to those who went through fertility issues.

She explained the background of a baptism as well as the procedures.  Having god parents are important for this sacrement.  We haven't picked one yet and it turned out that this decision isn't easy to make.  We are between DH's sister/husband & our couple friend.  We need to figure out our personal criteria to pick an appropriate god parents for our baby.  Family v.s. Friend....   DH's sister/her DH are little younger and bit immature.  They are trying to have a baby, but they still smoke and party.  I know they are good with kids and his family will be there with us forever.  On the other hand, our friends are mature, have a baby and amazing people.  However, will our friendship be forever?  My DH's god mother was a best friend of his mom, but they never see her anymore.  I don't know....we need to talk more in deepth on god parents...

How am I doing lately?    

• BH - Feeling frequent Braxton Hicks.  It's not uncomfortable, but my belly becomes rock solid!  It does happen randomly and it hits me even when I am walking on the treadmill.
• Hiccups - I didn't know what this feeling was but I found out it was my baby doing hiccups!!!  It's like slow heartbeats with a rythm.  Very soft muscle plasm.  My baby is having hiccups..how cute is that!!!   
• Leg Cramp - Not liking this!  Thankfully, I only experienced this twice, but it happens middle of the night.  It woke me up and hurt like hell!!!!  Looks like this is pretty common pregnancy condition.
• Linea Nigra - The line on my belly....it's not too dark yet, but I see it!!!  I don't have stretch marks yet though! 
• Bump - Bigger!!!  I popped and love my pregnancy look :)  I decided I wanna do maternity photos, so that's another checklist item to hit soon!  

 

Recent photo of my bump!  I gotta take more pic often

Week 28 & 4 Days: Upset and Frustrated

Before I go into my upset & frustrating experience over the holiday, let me start with some positive news.

Looks like I passed the glucose challenge screening test!  My OB hasn't called me back, so it means I am good to go :)  We finally traded in my car with a family friendly Ford Escape over the holiday.  We received a really good end-of-year deal and I absolutely LOVE my new car!!!  The holiday break was so nice and we welcomed the year 2013 with good friends with a total new mindset. 

This is what happened...
My bestie's baby girl (3 months) had a baptism last Saturday.  It was very special because she choose me as a god mother besides her sister.  I felt very special and I do consider her baby as my second daughter. 

Everything went well at the ceremony and she invited her guests to her house for lunchen afterwords.  I was mingling with people and then, I started talking with my bestie's husband mother and his business partner.  We were talking about my pregnancy, baby, etc.  Suddenly, the business partner said "Well, it's great that the first try worked for you guys.  Thanks to the advanced technology".  The mother was also nodding and adding some other comments.  My head went blank for a second.  I didn't know what they were talking about first, but it hit me that they were talking about our IVF.  I smiled and said "I know, we are so thankful", but in my head "HOW THE HELL DO THEY KNOW ABOUT THIS???"   

My DH and I decided not to be open about our IF struggles, so very few people knew about this.  Only my parents, DH's parents, my bestie and 2 of my GFs.  In the beginning of our IF treatment, no one knew about it, but I really needed someone to talk to and vent, so I shared our personal struggle with my bestie.  She was so sincere and gave me a lot of emotional support through our journey.  My DH wasn't happy about it and said "Everyone will know about us", but I said "No, they won't"  Right before our IVF, I found out that my bestie's husband knew that we were having IVF.  Both of them are good friends of ours, so it didn't bother us that she told about our personal matter to him only.

I haven't yet confirmed, but I am 100% sure it was him that who told his mom & business partner about our struggle and IVF. 

The night when my DH and I went to bed, a big emotion hit me really hard.  I couldn't stop crying.  I was crying and so upset that how could he share our personal matter to some other people?  Is fertility treatment some kind of cool things to tell other people?  Do you know how emotionally & physically hard it was for us to go through that and finally have a baby?  Maybe, you cannot understand the IF world and the reason why we kept this as a secret because you didn't struggle to have a baby.  You guys weren't even trying to have a baby.  It was an accident (well, they weren't preventing, to be accurate)  Who else did you tell about us?  Do our circle of friends know, too?  Why did you have to share our names?  Couldn't you just say "Someone I know is having a IVF..."  How could you be so incensitive to this subject matter?? 

Waves and waves of emotion took over me that night and I couldn't fall a sleep at all.  I felt upset and so unrespected.  I was physically tired from crying and being so emotional but I couldn't sleep until 5:30am.  I felt really bad for my baby girl because she knew I wasn't sleeping, so she kept moving.  It made me cry more that I wasn't proving her good night sleep.  I slept for 2 hours and broke down when DH woke up.  He didn't blame me at all ("See I told you"), but listened and understood why I was so upset.  He suggested that we remind my bestie/her husband that this is very personal so not to share with others.  I felt a lot better after talking to my DH. 

I am over with this and no longer upset or frustrated, but I will like to let him know how I felt and remind him to respect our personal matter.